9/4/12

I'm back, again, but different.

This was so much easier than typing it up!

  Here's the link to Brandi's CaringBridge.

Copying my sister...again :P (Day 1)

So I was about to write this blog about all the things I'm thankful for each day, following the lead of my sister. Then I realized that I do that a lot. I was a cheerleader growing up, just to be like her. I watched all the movies she did and the same tv shows, just to be like her. Heck, I'm even going to the same college and getting almost the same degree as her. So today, I'm thankful to have a sister that doesn't mind me being a copy cat.

My Prayer

So at the end of my last post, I mentioned that there would be a lot of prayer for this summer. While I imagine that during the course of my job there will be moments that require my patience and prayer, my main prayer request is for my sister and her family.

On May 24, 2011, my sister was rushed to the hospital with what appeared to be a stroke. It was a stroke, but one caused by two tumors in her brain. She lost all movement on the right side of her body making her bedridden while in the hospital. I got the call that Tuesday morning, but was told to hold off on coming due to the mass amounts of people from her church and family in the surrounding that were already crowding the hospital waiting rooms to do whatever they could. Two days later, Dad sent out a text to my brothers and me saying my sister was being moved to have surgery in Dallas and we needed to meet there that day. I immediately went and told my supervisor that I would be leaving and then called my older brother. An hour or so later, my brothers, my sister-in-law and I were all in a car headed to Dallas. After a 5hr+ ride there (which I really don't remember a whole lot of) we arrive at the hotel just in time to find out that the plans for surgery have been canceled. The next few days were just sitting around the hospital waiting for a game plan from the doctors. On Friday afternoon, we finally got word back from the team of doctors at Zale Lipshy on their plan of action: focal radiaton/chemotherapy and at home physical therapy. Since it was Memorial Day weekend, they weren't able to take any steps for getting her moved back until Tuesday. So for the whole weekend my family and I hung around the hospital, taking up the whole 5th floor waiting room.

When it was time to leave, I couldn't say goodbye. I feel bad now because all I could do was give my sister a hug and barely utter "See ya later". I wasn't ready to leave my family (I never am), and I especially didn't want to leave to go back to start working an overtime week. It turned out that it was actually beneficial to me though because if I wasn't at work, I was either grabbing a quick bite to eat, or sleeping. I didn't have hardly any downtime to just sit and think about what was going on. After Walmart Week, it took another week to catch up and get me back to my normal routine. Now it's life back to (almost) normal. I'm going to pick up my car and new phone tonight, I get my check for Walmart Week later on this week, and I get to go to Tampa to surprise my boyfriend for his birthday.

My sister started treatments today as well so everything is on the right track to getting better. All we can do now is pray, and leave the rest in God's hands. Then again, isn't that what we should always be doing?

Starting the summer

So I know I failed at keeping up with this blog yet again. Life just kinda got in the way. After finals and check outs (a torture story all on it's own) I went home to celebrate my little nephew's 1st birthday. Needless to say the cuteness factor was off the charts, and I loved having all my niblings around. Oh and the Schlutasaurus and "dinosaur bones" were pretty awesome too.

When all the fun was over and everyone had left, it was time for me to head back to Fayetteville and move from one dorm to another (my summer home). Mom and Dad helped me, thank goodness! I've learned that having a room to yourself doesn't give you more space, you just collect more crap. The next morning was the beginning of training. We went through a soderquist course in pouring down rain and sat through many little meetings. We definitely had some team bonding!

After all the training was over we got to make beds. Now when I say make beds, I mean we made hundreds upon hundreds of beds, hospital corners and all. Singing and goofing off got us through the monotany.

Now we've got thousands of WalMart associates on campus, filling every dorm. We've got to work at least 40hrs this week, and I'm preparing to work a 20hr shift. Yay for overtime pay!

So far it looks to be a summer full of great friends, easy work, and lots of prayers.

Day #2

So today's picture is....

A picture of you and the person you've been closest to longest.

After a LOT of thought, I thought of the obvious choice. My mom.

She's been close to me both literally and figuratively all my life. I talk to her a little bit every single day to let her know how things are going and check in on how she is. We talk about everything and she knows how I get stre

My new attempt to keep me on track

So since I'm not very good at keeping up with things on here, I decided to do one of those Facebook 30 day challenges. Instead of clogging up people's newsfeed with this, I'll just post here so I can elaborate more :)

To start of with, a picture of me and 10 facts about myself.

For my facts, I'll put things that kinda updates what's going on in my life.

1. I turn 20 tomorrow

2. I am one test away from finishing my Sophomore year of college

3. I am returning as a RA to my same dorm next fall

4. I'll be living in Fayetteville this summer, working.

5. I'm currently without a car, but hope to be resolving that soon.

6. I'm going to attempt to get in shape before I (hopefully) go to Tampa at the end of June.

7. I've found my new favorite drink lately- Peace Tea Green Tea. It's so good!

8.I'm a picture-holic and have hundreds of pics of family and friends decorating my room.

9. I'm becoming scheduling crazy, out of necessity. I have my planner, google calendar and my big white board calendar.

10. Next year, I will be social chair of Phi Sigma Rho- Kappa Chapter, and treasurer of Alpha Phi Omega- Beta Rho Chapter.

Well that seemed simple enough :P

More tomorrow!

Get cozy,

We could be here for a while.

As my last post stated, we've been having a lot of snow days lately. Yesterday was no exception. We had 18'' of snow hit us yesterday morning, closing the whole area down. Just walking through it was quite the adventure. School has closed for 3 days straight now, with roads and sidewalks unable to be cleared. This is the most snow I've ever seen!

This whole snow thing is getting my schedule off. Someone says they could take our Spring Break, but I'll only believe that when I say it. We've had 7 snow days already, and missing class is getting to become annoying to our teachers. Why even make a lesson plan if it's just gonna get ruined time and time again. I'm wondering when they're going to give up and just put the lessons online for us to teach ourselves.

Amongst all this snow insanity, I've been adjusting to my RA role quite nicely if I say so myself. I made 3lbs of fettuccine alfredo for my floor girls Super Bowl Sunday night. They scarfed almost all of it down! I've had 14 of my 54 one on ones done and still have a month and a half to do the other 40. I put reminders on all the girls to come see me for their one on ones asap. Unfortunately I had to do my first write up as a RA this week. I hated doing it, but rules are rules. I think I hated actually writing out the story more than actually dealing with the situation.

Being stuck indoors has led to me eating a lot, and therefore I've gained a bit of weight these past couple weeks. It's not that much different yet, but I can tell if I keep up this pattern, it could be a problem. Maybe the indoor gym in my dorm will get done soon and I can work out instead of watching tv....er...maybe. It's the thought that counts right?

I can't wait to go out tomorrow! Nathan promised he would play in the snow with me, even though he's not a fan of the snow. I think me going out and having fun today while he was reading made him a bit jealous. with the rest of the weekend off, he doesn't feel so bad about putting off homework for a while to come have a snowball fight with me :)

Speaking of Nathan, with Valentine's coming up, I'm trying to decide whether to do a small something or not. We already agreed that we weren't going to really do anything for Valentine's since we've done Valentine's before and we're both broke. I still thought it might be cute to do a little surprise, but he doesn't really like a lot of candy, and you don't do flowers for a guy. Well if I can't get out of Reid this weekend, it won't matter. My car is still buried under snow.

Snow Day(s)

So most people would be jumping up and down at the thought of being out of school for 3 days to go play in the snow. I admit, last year I would have been right there with the girls on my floor screaming with joy at each RazAlert text. This year, however, it's just getting annoying. I am stuck in my dorm, deciding on a program everyday, rescheduling the whole rush week I planned, unable to get help from my drill instructor on diff eq, and dreading the massive backlog of work that's sure to hit once we go back. Now that I've aired my grievances about the snow days, I'll say the good things. :)

Since we've had a small program everyday, I've got to meet a few more girls on my floor. And the ones who didn't come, I still know their faces because we've all been stuck in this building for 3 days. They've even started coming to me to ask questions! Can't wait to have an actual bond with these girls, though it's sad that I'm only their RA for a semester.

I've had a lot more chill time, and that's let me realize why I like school. I had such a good study schedule working out, including built in homework time on Mondays and Thursdays (academic and desk hours). Since I got all my homework done on Monday, I've just been making adjustments as they come to the events I'm working on. I've set up a fundraiser for my Relay for Life team, rescheduled the Phi Rho rush events we had, done my bulletin board for the month, looked at bulletin board ideas for next month, found the program I tried to do last semester and tweaked it, and lastly just sat on my bed and watched tv/read. It's been so weird to not have class assignments to work on, but I've gotten so much other stuff I wouldn't have had time for done.

I have food, clean room, clean laundry, and an amazing view of the snow; I think I'll be alright. My favorite part of all of this is the snow pictures I've acquired. Once again, go to my facebook page to check them out.

Oh and if you would like to make a donation to my Relay for Life team, click on the link:

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY11MS?pg=team&fr_id=28560&team_id=805849

20 Questions

So Nathan found an article that he thought I would like. It's called 20 Questions to Ask Yourself, and I think it was on Oprah's website. Anyways, I took it and analyzed the questions accordingly.

What questions should I be asking myself?

How am I? – Pretty good. I have an amazing family, great friends, and a caring boyfriend. My classes are looking decent, I’m doing my dream college job, and I’m part of some awesome organizations that make a difference. Life’s excellent.

What’s bugging me? - Uncertainty. I wish I knew what the future holds for me, and I’m growing impatient. I’ve been told I try to plan too much, but I just call it goal oriented.

What do I like about myself? – I got this one from a women’s issue meeting I had last night. Physically, I love my dimple, beauty mark, smile, hair, curves, and shortness. On the inside, I love my random patience, sporadic thought process, sense of style, humor, and need to help.

Is this what I want to be doing?

Well, yes and no. I love being in the classroom, that’s part of why I want to teach. I just hate the grading part. I have an unexplainable nervousness that comes when I know work of mine will be judged. It makes the whole class thing difficult. But it’s what I have to do to teach, so yes, I want to do this.

Why worry?

Worrying sometimes brings about points that no one else thought of. What if our boss gets upset that we’ve got ten people standing around, just talking? Though it’s sometimes unhealthy amount for me, I can’t help it. And yes, I’ve tried.

Why do I like ________more than I like _________?

I choose to fill-in-the-blanks with “accomplishing pointless things” and “sleeping”. Trust me, I love my sleep, but I feel so much better when I’ve done something. Even if it’s meaningless like this blog entry, I still have a sense of achieving a task. It’s a problem.

How do I want the world to be different because I lived in it?

I want to make a difference secondarily through the people I meet. I want to inspire them to want to do better in school, help their community, or somehow better their life. I’ve already had a couple people personally tell me that I’ve helped them change their lives. It’s the best feeling, and I can’t help but cry tears of excitement for them.

How do I want to be different because I lived in this world?

I want to become even more open and accepting. I’m working very hard to get rid of stereotypes in my thought process, but it’s really hard. I feel that my generation has a message of tolerance and caring that I want to be a part of.

Are ________ better people?

I’m going to use “extroverted” for this one. Especially coming into my job at 2^nd semester, it’s been a bit hard to connect with the girls. I’m trying to be extroverted, but it’s just not my nature. I think it’s going to be ok, and my style will make me be just as successful as the other RA’s.

What is my body telling me?

Too much. As in, “You worry/eat/do too much”. I’m honestly trying to work on all of these areas, but my instinct and wants are posing to be hurdles.

How much junk could a chic chick chuck if a chic chick could chuck junk?

SO much. I’m the kind of girl who deletes facebook friends, just got rid of two trash bags of clothes, and completely cut off connection with someone who was a bad connection in my life. I’m moving on, but I’m also filling all that space with new things. It’s a vicious cycle…

What’s so funny?

Life! As I mentioned before, I like to plan. How often do you think that works out perfectly for me. I’ve learned to just laugh and move on. It’s better than being bitter over something you can’t change. Plus I’m in college, there’s funny stuff everywhere. Internet, classroom, down the hall, or (as in the past couple of minutes) in the elevator.

Where am I wrong?

This is probably one of the harder ones for me. I miss something in class, make mistakes on the job, and don’t always give the perfect advice. I’m human, therefore, I’m wrong.

What potential memories am I bartering, and is the profit worth the price?

I could be at another college, still at home, or making my own in some rundown apartment working a job I hate. I’d say I’m where I want to be and I’m making all sorts of memories. (Check my facebook pics to verify!)

Am I the only one struggling not to _______ during ______?

“Scream” “impossible homework”. I sometimes can’t figure out my homework and I just scream to let my frustrations out. I’m sure I’m not the only one….right?

What do I love to practice?

My friendships. I’ve been making a conscious effort to make a closer friendships with a wide variety of people.

Where could I work less and achieve more?

My RA job. I feel like could just work to build relationships with my residents on a more personal scale, and my job performance would be 10x’s better. I’ve gotten to know some of my girls already, but nowhere near all sixty of them!

How can I keep myself absolutely safe?

Impossible. I can guard myself and follow all the safety rules, but life is never going to be completely safe. Might as well leave your guard down and enjoy the ride.

Where should I break the rules?

This actually happened in my dating life. I always had a personal rule that if I broke up with someone, that was it, no second chances. I ended up breaking this rule last semester, and I have yet to regret it. In short, our relationship was too young and undeveloped to really withstand long distance dating. When we saw each other again, the feelings were the same, and after a few months of cautiously debating it, I decided to give us a second chance.

So say I had everything I dreamed of….then what?

Share the wealth with everyone who’s been there for me. Relax and don’t worry anymore. (yeah right)

Are my thoughts hurting or healing?

I’d have to say that this process of Q&A has been pretty healing. I’ve realized a lot of little quirks about myself. I’ve seen what I need to improve, and what is good for me.

Really truly: Is this what I want to be doing?

As stated before, yes and no. I’m here for a reason, and that is a very important thing to me. I’ll be glad when my last class grade is turned in.

New Year, New Start

Ok so that's completely cliche, but I'm hoping it will hold true for me in 2011. I rang in the new year with Nathan and his family in Searcy, lots of funny moments! 2010 was hard on me but I am looking at the upcoming year with an open mind. I could ramble on and on about what didn't go right in 2010, but that defeats the purpose of my new outlook. Instead I'll share the things I'm grateful for.

1) My family and their health- My mom is getting great feedback from the doctors. They have a schedule that includes finishing the treatments! The rest of my family is doing well and it was great to see all of them this past week. I love playing around with the niblings, they're so sweet and adorable.

2) My job as a RESPECT intern- I often lose sight of how meaningful my job is/can be. There's a lot of people out there who have dealt with rape themselves, or know someone who has. I have been so caught up in getting the RA position, that I didn't put enough effort into RESPECT. I hope to change this in the upcoming semester.

3) My friends- No matter what, I can tell them anything and they're there for me. I've missed them a lot over break. I can't wait to get back to Fayetteville and hear what's going on with them.

4) My boyfriend- I guess technically he is included with the friends, but considering how much stuff he's had to hear the past few months, he deserves his own little section. He wants whats best for me, and sometimes it's not what I want to hear. I'm thankful for his patience and humor for getting me through some of the most heartbreaking and frustrating moments of the year.

5) Memories- Anyone who knows me can realize that I'm a nostalgic person. I love photos, scrapbooking, and those cute little slideshows edited to music. While I try not to dwell in the past, I know that we remember things for a reason. We learn from our mistakes, and cherish the good times. Memories are a treasure.

So while 2010 presented hurdles for me, and I'd be lying if I said I made it over all of them, it has shaped in a big way who I am today. If you would've asked me on New Year's Day last year if I thought that I'd be in the position I'm in, I'd laugh at the thought and not take it seriously.

Whoops!

Well it's been a while since I've logged on here. While it may not be good time management to type this up right now, I feel the need to update. I haven't been doing it during my night shifts for various reasons, some of them because I didn't work the night shift.

Social- I am back together with Nathan. There it's said, and to explain more would take a day and half. I am also a newly initiated member of Phi Sigma Rho and I'll become an active member of Alpha Phi Omega on Thursday night. I've made so many new friends (sisters/brothers) through these organizations. There are moments for both of them when it just hits me and I know I joined the right place. Phi Rho fulfills my nerdy, girly side while APO fulfills my need to serve others and have a wide variety of friendships. Along with these groups comes a lot of time committments though, and I'm definitely feeling it.

School- Academics weren't going so well at the beginning of the year because I was too stressed out on everything else going on in my world. Between family, strained friendships from last year, trying to get involved to take my mind off things, and figuring out what my job exactly was, I never found time to just sit and study. Now I'm pulling myself out of a hole and am looking at taking a GPA hit, pretty hard. My scholarship isn't in jeopardy (knock on wood) but my Honors College status is. Hopefully the worst that happens is a semester's probation til I get my grades back up.

Work- My boss expects us to have 70 hours a semester, and I'm leading the pack with about 45 right now. We only have a month left! I don't know how she is going to react but she already said we wouldn't be fired. I'm not sure if there were even 70 hours of work offered. It's stressful but I'm working at getting more hours in this week. Between last week and this week my hours should be up to 56. Oh, a couple weeks ago, my other housing intern and I made door decs for every girl in our dorm. Ok actually one for every room but it was still a LOT of turkeys! One last thing; programming, programming, programming.

Family- I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving next week. I wish I could say that I'll be relaxing and playing with the kids. Unfortunately, I have too much studying to do, and the kids won't be there for very long. Just to be home for almost a week will be amazing though. It may be a tempting taste of Christmas Break that will leave me wanting more time though.

Friends- While, as stated before, I'm making new friends in other organizations, I don't ever get to see my friends from last year. It takes a miracle to be able to see more than one of them at a time. It's usually my busy schedule, but it comes off as if I'm hanging out with my new friends over the ones who have been there for me. It's just that when I'm with the organizations, it's usually a required event.

So much to do, so little time!

Back to normal(ish)

So once again it's Friday night at the desk...



It's parents weekend= lots of random parents around til midnight, then the girls leave for parties and come back at the wee hours of the morning.



This doesn't seem to be smart considering the game starts at 11:21 tomorrow...

Speaking of, I'm glad I got my nap in earlier because I likely won't be able to sleep til tomorrow night after 10ish. Crazy!



I slept out at the stadium last night, and it was surprisingly comfortable. It was kinda cool to fall asleep under the stars of Fayetteville and wake up when people were walking by to go to class (in a socially acceptable manner haha)



I have the most amazing friend for bringing me a drink to my shift :) Thanks Ciara!!!



I really hope it doesn't rain for gameday. Painting would NOT work. Not to mention how miserable it would be.



A girl just asked if she could feed the fish. 1) It's 1 AM, go to bed. 2) No, that's done during the day. 3) Don't pout when I say no. It's a fish, you're not 5.



The blustery wind keeps making the doors slam shut. It's kinda funny to watch the girls jump as they walk in.



dear insomnia,

We're doing this again?

sincerely, College Student



ha ha I like dearblankpleaseblank.com



How did I finish a Route 44 in an hour and a half?!



Yay...my shift is over! Now time to shower and get ready for the game! WPS!

An eerie October night

So over half of campus has left this weekend...there are about 20 cars left in the parking lot.

I honestly don't even feel like typing tonight...I'm watching Beauty and the Beast..shhhh.

Ciara came and kept me company, but I decided to release her of her friendly duties so she could get some rest. No need in both of us suffering.

I'm going home tomorrow!! I've seen my parents twice this week already, but I wanna go home. I haven't been in a while, and it'll be nice to get away.

I haven't seen anyone in about 30 minutes. Getting really creepy quiet.

Nathan showed me Kingdom Hearts 2 last weekend...it's awesome. I wanna learn to play (if I ever have time)

I can't wait to sleep! Waaaaay too many early mornings this week. I had 11 hours of RESPECT from last Friday to today. So much for only needing 70 a semester!

Well, like I said, not really into writing tonight. So that's all.
Night!

Desk...It's OCTOBER!

Wow the time has really flown by! October already and a chill of fall in the air. Gotta love this time of year.

So I will only have about an hour and a half of randomness tonight since my epic friend, Ciara, came and entertained me for a long while tonight. My girls and I went late night at Papa John's/Quizno's and then to Bikes, Blues & BBQ for the sight. Add in some fro-yo, stargazing in the Greek Theater, and hot chocolate from Starbucks= Amazing time!

So if you walk in intoxicated, don't shush obviously...I'm not dumb.

I didn't post last week because I took the night off to camp out for the Alabama game...totally worth it! Crazy night, can't even begin to explain. Little sleep and slight dehydration made my sickness worse though, and I felt almost dead after the game. It took the rest of the weekend to recover.

Jimmy John's at 3AM? Poor delivery guys.

So I love being a pledge...I get tons of gifts :) I got a sundae glass filled with candy and a calculator and a bracelet from Phi Rho, and a red velvet cake with my name spelled out in Sour Patch kids from my APO big sis. Such cool stuff!!

I missed my family. I felt bad that I wasn't really up to visiting after the Alabama game. I get to see my brothers and their families tomorrow (today) for the Beauty and the Beast sing-along movie. Wish my sis and her family could come too!

Hey now, you're an All Star, get your game on, go play.

So many people left campus this weekend. It's pretty quiet except for all the bikers.

Sleeeeeeepy. It was a hectic/busy day. I'll be glad to sleep in my nice warm comfy bed.

A group of girls came up when we were sitting out at the Greek Theater, and they reminded me of my group last year. Then it struck me, I'm already looking back on college days. I feel old.

Along the same lines, my high school's homecoming was tonight, and I really didn't care either way. Last year I was upset that I didn't get to make it back for homecoming. This year I haven't even paid attention to who they're playing and what the scores are. It's a bit weird, but I'm moving out of my small town roots.

I met a lot of people camping out last week. It's an awesome feeling to walk around and know so many people on such a large campus. It makes me feel like I'm actually doing something besides killing myself with academics and service while I'm here ha ha

Well...my shift is FINALLY coming to an end. Til next week, Woo Pig Sooie! (I know it's an off week but still)

Desk duty thoughts 9/17

yoohoo in a juice carton and banana chips tonight :)

also have my skype up on my laptop so I can chat with friends since some have agreed to stay up and talk to me. So awesome of them.

Considering joining Phi Sigma Rho (math,science, and engineering sorority)- I went to dinner tonight and they gave me a bid. I have til Sunday night to decide...

Powerade is amazing when I seriously am thirsty.

I have stressed myself out this week but this weekend has a day of football and relaxation. Just 10 hrs away!!

My eyes are so heavy tonight. I'm actually afraid of accidently falling asleep.

I like dancing in my chair when no one's around

It's been a busy week with RESPECT. SO many hours of work!

Writing people up isn't fun

Just keep going, just keep going...an hour til sleep :)

Can't wait to watch the Hogs beat Georgia!

I wish they would get the A/C fixed down here on the first floor...

"I know the heart of life is good"- I really like this lyric by John Mayer

How hard is it to follow a 3AM curfew?! Go to bed!!

I have a new name badge to wear when I'm working for RESPECT. It's all official with my name and photo id and everything :)

What this blog was originally about...

The title of this blog is Rachel's Ramblings, based on the fact that I tend to ramble whenever I talk. I've gotten better about this over the years, but I'm considering an experiment; typing up all my random thoughts during my midnight-4AM desk shift. I have so many things that I would normally say or text people about, but no one is awake. I also wouldn't want to be one of those annoying facebook friends that update their status 12 times a day. I just want to type them out, read them later, and decide whether or not it's actually worth typing. If nothing else, it should produce some (not actually) funny ideas.

Football game is in Little Rock this weekend, leaving the campus half empty. Apparently, if you're not at the game, you should be home. Luckily, my parents are coming up here.

My car scares me. It almost didn't stop going down a hill and then skidded all over the road on the same hill when I was driving the other day. Dad came and looked at it, and said there was nothing wrong. I'm still not completely convinced, but I'll have to drive it again eventually.

I feel weird putting up a "Back in 5 min" sign to leave the desk, when I haven't seen anyone for almost 20 minutes.

the RA on duty is always entertaining to chat with, because you're both "sleep-drunk"

sleep drunk involves the delirious way you start acting from lack of sleep

Route 44 lemonberry slush is the perfect desk companion

How did I not get a Pandora account years ago?!

Sleepy RA's hunting down a beetle at the front desk...great footage for Reggie :P

Rice Cake snacks are a healthy option; until you eat the whole

Making my schedule on Excel seems so "adult" but it has to be done

Why in the world would other people be up right now? Other than RA's, you have no reason to stay awake til 4!

Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high- dreamy song while sleepy :)

Tingly, asleep foot is really bothersome

My phone pretty much needs charged every night, and I'm always afraid it will die before it gets charged

My friends and I are amazed at how dumb guys can be. When you try to politely say you just want friendship, they assume you're playing hard to get. It's an age old problem and we keep using Pride and Prejudice as an example.

Why is there such an abundance of post-its around here?!- every size, color, and style I can think of.

Only a handful of people know I blog, and even less have read it. Maybe once I get this as a constant thing, I'll let it go more public...

Well that wraps it up for tonight (..er...this morning?) Time for my relief and some sleep.

Don't forget that I posted two blogs tonight if you're trying to keep tabs on me :P

And so it begins. Year II....

So to start off, I can already tell this year is gonna take every last bit of my patience and strength at times. Why? Well, let's just look at what my life is about right now.

1) Once again separated- It's almost like Freshman year-part 2. Not only am I away from my family, I no longer live with all my friends from last year. Disadvantage- not knowing what's going on with all my friends and feeling disconnected from the Pomfret group. Advantage- making so many new friends and getting to know my staff. Which brings me to the second point.



2) R.E.S.P.E.C.T.- my job. I went through training #1, now have training #2 going on. Until it's done, I'm trying to remember the girls I meet in my dorm, working with the RA's and figuring out good programs for the organization. I've got my calender all sorted out with events and Also, desk duty from 12-4 AM every Saturday morning. It's quite the show. I've learned to embrace my authoritative side, and have found it extremely useful/effective!



3) Classes- Cal 3, Honors Cultural Anthropology, Spanish Intermediate II, Discrete, and Philosophy have my brain going in so many different directions. I feel like I need to sit and study more than ever, yet have less time than ever. It's going to take a study schedule for me to keep on top of everything this year.

4) Frequent caller minutes?-If there were such a thing, I'd have a whole stack of them from the amount I have talked to my mom in the past month. I not only want to check on her in light of recent events, but also because of how fast my life is. I will call her and tell her everything so that she knows before I forget to tell her later. Some days, the busy/stressful one, will be a series of short check-ins while others are long deep conversations. I know there are other people that I could talk to, but it's just easier to talk to her when I already have another reason to call. I just hope she's not getting annoyed with all of the random calls.

I wrote this about three weeks ago, but just got back to it and tweaked it accordingly. It may sound a bit stressed/whiny, but that was before I got into a feel of things. It's been quite the adjustment for the past month, but I'm getting it. No matter what comes, you gotta keep living and pray for the best.

22 days left of my 90 days of summer...

Where have the other 68 gone?!

I feel like I was too busy rushing through work and school at the beginning of the summer, that I forgot to slow down and enjoy it. I have less than a month left and most of that time is claimed by my job. The most frustrating part is that I don't even have that many hours at work. The hours I do work restrict the things I can do before I go in, and I'm too tired after to do anything. I wonder if having a job was really the best idea. Looking back, I had a "wish" list of things I wanted to do this summer, and maybe I've crossed them off the list....just not how I thought I would.

*See something that moves me- when I first thought of this, I thought of an act of kindness, possibly going with a volunteer job. However, I was really moved when I went to the OKC memorial this past weekend and went through the museum. I was only 3 (about to be 4) at the time it happened, so I didn't have much memory other than the trial. The sudden impact it had on countless lives and the rush to aid those in need got to me. I found myself biting back tears walking through the museum; some of sadness, some angry, and some happy for the support of the families affected.

*Visit friends- I dreamed this may have something to do with out of state trips to friends, or frequent trips to Fayetteville. Instead it's been more of a goal to get to see my friends that are living around here. We have to schedule at least a few days in advance to make sure we can see each other. I still can't wait to see all my Fayetteville friends in a month.

*Make new friends- This, I assumed from previous experience, would come from my summer class. While I did meet a few people in there, most were older and didn't really relate to me. Surprisingly, I've made a few friends at work, and I'm actually going to be a little sad leaving some of them in a little over two weeks. I thought I'd be glad to be gone after my first week there.

*Spend family time- If you know my family, you know this was going to happen, regardless. My sister having a baby and my brother getting married just added more time than we usually all have together. I've seen my sister for as much time in the past couple of months as my whole freshman year probably. I'm glad to be able to see my niblings grow up.

*Vacation-Usually my family takes a week long vacation during the summer. Since my parents took vacation days for my new nephew and my brother, we had a short vacation to OKC to see my 7 year old nephew play baseball. We got to take my niece to the zoo, soaked up some sun, and (as mentioned before) stopped by the OKC memorial on the way out. It was a packed 3 days, but left me well rested.

*Become stronger in faith- I'd printed out a Bible study before I left school, but now it's lost in my boxes and shamefully I haven't even attempted to start on it. I had plans for going to church every Sunday, which was cancelled out by working every Sunday. The only thing that has gotten stronger about my faith is my praying. The stress of work and school brought me to states of utter insanity. It's not that either was hard, just time consuming. I prayed, and still do, for patience and calm. There were a couple nights my last week of school (when I had a quiz, class presentation, and final on top of 35 hours of work) that I thought I'd just be good to get by through it all. I ended up making an A on all the class stuff and not having any kind of mental breakdowns at work.

*Learn something outside of books- Class discussions brought up many interesting and controversial topics, as to be expected in college. The most interesting thing to me though was my Kenyan professor's point of view on world events as he gave us a picture of what things are like over in Africa. It made me think of studying abroad, not neccesarily to Africa, but I'm a bit afraid to cross the ocean.

*Learn something with books-It's amazing to me how much history doesn't get covered in public high schools. I was lucky to get past World War I, and it was so nice to go into detail about the causes and events leading through World War II, Cold War, and into present day terrorism.

*Read for fun- I imagined I would have all this time to relax and read. I have no idea what I was thinking! I finally got around to checking a book out a couple weeks ago, started reading it, didn't like it, and then realized today it's past due. I think I might give up on this one.

*Forgive and forget-This one has to do with forgiving those who hurt me. Honestly I have forgiven, it's the forgetting that isn't easy. I'm working on being friends, but it's hard. Unfortunately there's been another added to the list during the summer making the job that much more.

*Organize- If you know me, you know I'm a mess. I was hoping to get things under control this summer in practice for living in a room by myself come fall. This is still a work in progress...but there's still hope!

*Be helpful- I'd planned to help out more around the house; clean a bit, cook dinner, etc.... but mom's always home for dinner, whereas I don't get home til around 9. Cleaning is hard to do when you're sitting at home with no motivation or help and a list of a thousand things you'd rather be doing.

*Volunteer-I'd hope to at least take part in the Habitat for Humanity work that I'm an officer of, but it seems that no matter what days I get off, there is never a build on that day. I guess I'll just have to save it for fall.

*Study for fall semester- I'm actually attempting this starting this week. I have my Spanish flash cards and Calculus book. I'm going to try to get a head start on Spanish Intermediate II and Cal III to keep good grades this semester so my honors college status isn't in jeopardy.

*Re-style myself-This originally was thought to be a hair cut and work-out routine. I've decided that the work-out will wait til I'm better equipped on campus and my friend talked me into waiting to cut my hair. We're going to both donate our hair at the same time, so I have to wait til her hair is long enough. Insteadk, I've made minor changes, new make-up, a bit of a tan, and new "girly" clothes.

I hope that everyone else's summer has lived up to their expectations, and if not, look again. You may have done everything you wanted in a different way.

What I Learned My Freshman Year of College...

I've been meaning to write this blog for over a month now, but with finals, then baby Jacob being born, starting work, starting school, my brother getting married, Hogs making it to Super Regionals, and other craziness... I just now have the time to sit down and write!

Being in college for just a year made me learn a lot, some of it important, some not so much. I can already tell that I've changed from the small town high school girl I was, and I'm curious to see how four more years of college change me.

Don't forget your flip-flops in the shower, don't bathe in the
community bath tub.

Get to know everyone you can. The people living around you, the
housekeeper on your floor, professors, T.A.'s, people in your class. Everyone.
You never know who might become one of your best friends or a great
reference.

While first impressions are important, they can be changed over
time.

Don't worry about what others think of you. Worry more about
what you think of yourself.

One bad grade isn't the end of the world. Just realize you have
to study harder next time.

Your friends will help you tremendously. Don't ever doubt the
effectiveness of a midnight food run when you're stressed/feeling
down.

Get out and make friends. Don't sit in your room
studying/playing games all the time.

If you need help, ask for it! Don't wait til it's too
late.

Get involved. Whether it's going to sporting events,
volunteering, study groups, or all of the above, do it! You'll meet a ton of
people.

Get in line EARLY for football games. It's good bonding/making friends time and the seats are so worth it. Just make sure to cheer loud.

Don't go to your first basketball game student section alone, not knowing ANYONE if you are a girl. Take at least one friend the first time, get to know some of the people, then start hanging out with the student section crew. Otherwise, you may just meet some creepy dude that you don't realize is creepy til he stalks you on Facebook.

Heartbreaks happen, but so does love. This is true for any part of life, just take the good and the bad...and well "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"

Don't run up the Death Climb when it's iced over even with snow boots on. Unless, of course, you want your knee to be black and blue.

Don't fear rejection. Whether it's a scholarship or job
application, yeah it sucks to get turned down, but you're no worse off than
before. Don't be afraid to apply because you think you won't get it.

Put pictures in your room. It's a nice distraction to remember the stories and it tells your guests a little bit about what kind of person you are.

Don't be stupid. Just because there might be"cute boys/girls" at frat/sorority parties, doesn't mean you should go. I unfortunately walked down frat row one night with some friends on our way back to our dorm, and I don't see how girls degrade themselves enough to talk to guys who act like that. They need to go back to Junior High.

Don't dwell on your past, but don't forget where you came from. Sadly, as much as I went back home this year, I had a hard time keeping in touch with my friends from high school.

Sit outside and just watch the clouds or read a book from time to time. My favorite was going out with the girls on Friday nights and laying in the Greek Theatre, looking at the stars.

Go to class. You may feel like it's pointless sometimes (and sometimes you may be right) but if the teacher sees you in class often, they are more likely to boost your grade.

Keep your dorm somewhat clean. I'm not talking about spotless-could-eat-off-the-floor-clean, but enough that your room is presentable out of respect for your roommate and friends that come over.

Keep the syllabus around. Some teachers won't remind you of test dates, but will expect you to be prepared since they are scheduled.

It's ok to be a nerd, especially in college.

Disney movies, coloring, play-doh, and basically any other childhood things will be a neccesity for sanity sometimes.

These are all of the lessons I can remember, but trust me there are a LOT more. Hopefully I'll finally find some time to do this blogging thing, but considering my past blogging, probably not.