Day #2

So today's picture is....

A picture of you and the person you've been closest to longest.

After a LOT of thought, I thought of the obvious choice. My mom.

She's been close to me both literally and figuratively all my life. I talk to her a little bit every single day to let her know how things are going and check in on how she is. We talk about everything and she knows how I get stre

My new attempt to keep me on track

So since I'm not very good at keeping up with things on here, I decided to do one of those Facebook 30 day challenges. Instead of clogging up people's newsfeed with this, I'll just post here so I can elaborate more :)

To start of with, a picture of me and 10 facts about myself.

For my facts, I'll put things that kinda updates what's going on in my life.

1. I turn 20 tomorrow

2. I am one test away from finishing my Sophomore year of college

3. I am returning as a RA to my same dorm next fall

4. I'll be living in Fayetteville this summer, working.

5. I'm currently without a car, but hope to be resolving that soon.

6. I'm going to attempt to get in shape before I (hopefully) go to Tampa at the end of June.

7. I've found my new favorite drink lately- Peace Tea Green Tea. It's so good!

8.I'm a picture-holic and have hundreds of pics of family and friends decorating my room.

9. I'm becoming scheduling crazy, out of necessity. I have my planner, google calendar and my big white board calendar.

10. Next year, I will be social chair of Phi Sigma Rho- Kappa Chapter, and treasurer of Alpha Phi Omega- Beta Rho Chapter.

Well that seemed simple enough :P

More tomorrow!

Get cozy,

We could be here for a while.

As my last post stated, we've been having a lot of snow days lately. Yesterday was no exception. We had 18'' of snow hit us yesterday morning, closing the whole area down. Just walking through it was quite the adventure. School has closed for 3 days straight now, with roads and sidewalks unable to be cleared. This is the most snow I've ever seen!

This whole snow thing is getting my schedule off. Someone says they could take our Spring Break, but I'll only believe that when I say it. We've had 7 snow days already, and missing class is getting to become annoying to our teachers. Why even make a lesson plan if it's just gonna get ruined time and time again. I'm wondering when they're going to give up and just put the lessons online for us to teach ourselves.

Amongst all this snow insanity, I've been adjusting to my RA role quite nicely if I say so myself. I made 3lbs of fettuccine alfredo for my floor girls Super Bowl Sunday night. They scarfed almost all of it down! I've had 14 of my 54 one on ones done and still have a month and a half to do the other 40. I put reminders on all the girls to come see me for their one on ones asap. Unfortunately I had to do my first write up as a RA this week. I hated doing it, but rules are rules. I think I hated actually writing out the story more than actually dealing with the situation.

Being stuck indoors has led to me eating a lot, and therefore I've gained a bit of weight these past couple weeks. It's not that much different yet, but I can tell if I keep up this pattern, it could be a problem. Maybe the indoor gym in my dorm will get done soon and I can work out instead of watching tv....er...maybe. It's the thought that counts right?

I can't wait to go out tomorrow! Nathan promised he would play in the snow with me, even though he's not a fan of the snow. I think me going out and having fun today while he was reading made him a bit jealous. with the rest of the weekend off, he doesn't feel so bad about putting off homework for a while to come have a snowball fight with me :)

Speaking of Nathan, with Valentine's coming up, I'm trying to decide whether to do a small something or not. We already agreed that we weren't going to really do anything for Valentine's since we've done Valentine's before and we're both broke. I still thought it might be cute to do a little surprise, but he doesn't really like a lot of candy, and you don't do flowers for a guy. Well if I can't get out of Reid this weekend, it won't matter. My car is still buried under snow.

Snow Day(s)

So most people would be jumping up and down at the thought of being out of school for 3 days to go play in the snow. I admit, last year I would have been right there with the girls on my floor screaming with joy at each RazAlert text. This year, however, it's just getting annoying. I am stuck in my dorm, deciding on a program everyday, rescheduling the whole rush week I planned, unable to get help from my drill instructor on diff eq, and dreading the massive backlog of work that's sure to hit once we go back. Now that I've aired my grievances about the snow days, I'll say the good things. :)

Since we've had a small program everyday, I've got to meet a few more girls on my floor. And the ones who didn't come, I still know their faces because we've all been stuck in this building for 3 days. They've even started coming to me to ask questions! Can't wait to have an actual bond with these girls, though it's sad that I'm only their RA for a semester.

I've had a lot more chill time, and that's let me realize why I like school. I had such a good study schedule working out, including built in homework time on Mondays and Thursdays (academic and desk hours). Since I got all my homework done on Monday, I've just been making adjustments as they come to the events I'm working on. I've set up a fundraiser for my Relay for Life team, rescheduled the Phi Rho rush events we had, done my bulletin board for the month, looked at bulletin board ideas for next month, found the program I tried to do last semester and tweaked it, and lastly just sat on my bed and watched tv/read. It's been so weird to not have class assignments to work on, but I've gotten so much other stuff I wouldn't have had time for done.

I have food, clean room, clean laundry, and an amazing view of the snow; I think I'll be alright. My favorite part of all of this is the snow pictures I've acquired. Once again, go to my facebook page to check them out.

Oh and if you would like to make a donation to my Relay for Life team, click on the link:

http://main.acsevents.org/site/TR/RelayForLife/RFLFY11MS?pg=team&fr_id=28560&team_id=805849

20 Questions

So Nathan found an article that he thought I would like. It's called 20 Questions to Ask Yourself, and I think it was on Oprah's website. Anyways, I took it and analyzed the questions accordingly.

What questions should I be asking myself?

How am I? – Pretty good. I have an amazing family, great friends, and a caring boyfriend. My classes are looking decent, I’m doing my dream college job, and I’m part of some awesome organizations that make a difference. Life’s excellent.

What’s bugging me? - Uncertainty. I wish I knew what the future holds for me, and I’m growing impatient. I’ve been told I try to plan too much, but I just call it goal oriented.

What do I like about myself? – I got this one from a women’s issue meeting I had last night. Physically, I love my dimple, beauty mark, smile, hair, curves, and shortness. On the inside, I love my random patience, sporadic thought process, sense of style, humor, and need to help.

Is this what I want to be doing?

Well, yes and no. I love being in the classroom, that’s part of why I want to teach. I just hate the grading part. I have an unexplainable nervousness that comes when I know work of mine will be judged. It makes the whole class thing difficult. But it’s what I have to do to teach, so yes, I want to do this.

Why worry?

Worrying sometimes brings about points that no one else thought of. What if our boss gets upset that we’ve got ten people standing around, just talking? Though it’s sometimes unhealthy amount for me, I can’t help it. And yes, I’ve tried.

Why do I like ________more than I like _________?

I choose to fill-in-the-blanks with “accomplishing pointless things” and “sleeping”. Trust me, I love my sleep, but I feel so much better when I’ve done something. Even if it’s meaningless like this blog entry, I still have a sense of achieving a task. It’s a problem.

How do I want the world to be different because I lived in it?

I want to make a difference secondarily through the people I meet. I want to inspire them to want to do better in school, help their community, or somehow better their life. I’ve already had a couple people personally tell me that I’ve helped them change their lives. It’s the best feeling, and I can’t help but cry tears of excitement for them.

How do I want to be different because I lived in this world?

I want to become even more open and accepting. I’m working very hard to get rid of stereotypes in my thought process, but it’s really hard. I feel that my generation has a message of tolerance and caring that I want to be a part of.

Are ________ better people?

I’m going to use “extroverted” for this one. Especially coming into my job at 2^nd semester, it’s been a bit hard to connect with the girls. I’m trying to be extroverted, but it’s just not my nature. I think it’s going to be ok, and my style will make me be just as successful as the other RA’s.

What is my body telling me?

Too much. As in, “You worry/eat/do too much”. I’m honestly trying to work on all of these areas, but my instinct and wants are posing to be hurdles.

How much junk could a chic chick chuck if a chic chick could chuck junk?

SO much. I’m the kind of girl who deletes facebook friends, just got rid of two trash bags of clothes, and completely cut off connection with someone who was a bad connection in my life. I’m moving on, but I’m also filling all that space with new things. It’s a vicious cycle…

What’s so funny?

Life! As I mentioned before, I like to plan. How often do you think that works out perfectly for me. I’ve learned to just laugh and move on. It’s better than being bitter over something you can’t change. Plus I’m in college, there’s funny stuff everywhere. Internet, classroom, down the hall, or (as in the past couple of minutes) in the elevator.

Where am I wrong?

This is probably one of the harder ones for me. I miss something in class, make mistakes on the job, and don’t always give the perfect advice. I’m human, therefore, I’m wrong.

What potential memories am I bartering, and is the profit worth the price?

I could be at another college, still at home, or making my own in some rundown apartment working a job I hate. I’d say I’m where I want to be and I’m making all sorts of memories. (Check my facebook pics to verify!)

Am I the only one struggling not to _______ during ______?

“Scream” “impossible homework”. I sometimes can’t figure out my homework and I just scream to let my frustrations out. I’m sure I’m not the only one….right?

What do I love to practice?

My friendships. I’ve been making a conscious effort to make a closer friendships with a wide variety of people.

Where could I work less and achieve more?

My RA job. I feel like could just work to build relationships with my residents on a more personal scale, and my job performance would be 10x’s better. I’ve gotten to know some of my girls already, but nowhere near all sixty of them!

How can I keep myself absolutely safe?

Impossible. I can guard myself and follow all the safety rules, but life is never going to be completely safe. Might as well leave your guard down and enjoy the ride.

Where should I break the rules?

This actually happened in my dating life. I always had a personal rule that if I broke up with someone, that was it, no second chances. I ended up breaking this rule last semester, and I have yet to regret it. In short, our relationship was too young and undeveloped to really withstand long distance dating. When we saw each other again, the feelings were the same, and after a few months of cautiously debating it, I decided to give us a second chance.

So say I had everything I dreamed of….then what?

Share the wealth with everyone who’s been there for me. Relax and don’t worry anymore. (yeah right)

Are my thoughts hurting or healing?

I’d have to say that this process of Q&A has been pretty healing. I’ve realized a lot of little quirks about myself. I’ve seen what I need to improve, and what is good for me.

Really truly: Is this what I want to be doing?

As stated before, yes and no. I’m here for a reason, and that is a very important thing to me. I’ll be glad when my last class grade is turned in.

New Year, New Start

Ok so that's completely cliche, but I'm hoping it will hold true for me in 2011. I rang in the new year with Nathan and his family in Searcy, lots of funny moments! 2010 was hard on me but I am looking at the upcoming year with an open mind. I could ramble on and on about what didn't go right in 2010, but that defeats the purpose of my new outlook. Instead I'll share the things I'm grateful for.

1) My family and their health- My mom is getting great feedback from the doctors. They have a schedule that includes finishing the treatments! The rest of my family is doing well and it was great to see all of them this past week. I love playing around with the niblings, they're so sweet and adorable.

2) My job as a RESPECT intern- I often lose sight of how meaningful my job is/can be. There's a lot of people out there who have dealt with rape themselves, or know someone who has. I have been so caught up in getting the RA position, that I didn't put enough effort into RESPECT. I hope to change this in the upcoming semester.

3) My friends- No matter what, I can tell them anything and they're there for me. I've missed them a lot over break. I can't wait to get back to Fayetteville and hear what's going on with them.

4) My boyfriend- I guess technically he is included with the friends, but considering how much stuff he's had to hear the past few months, he deserves his own little section. He wants whats best for me, and sometimes it's not what I want to hear. I'm thankful for his patience and humor for getting me through some of the most heartbreaking and frustrating moments of the year.

5) Memories- Anyone who knows me can realize that I'm a nostalgic person. I love photos, scrapbooking, and those cute little slideshows edited to music. While I try not to dwell in the past, I know that we remember things for a reason. We learn from our mistakes, and cherish the good times. Memories are a treasure.

So while 2010 presented hurdles for me, and I'd be lying if I said I made it over all of them, it has shaped in a big way who I am today. If you would've asked me on New Year's Day last year if I thought that I'd be in the position I'm in, I'd laugh at the thought and not take it seriously.

Whoops!

Well it's been a while since I've logged on here. While it may not be good time management to type this up right now, I feel the need to update. I haven't been doing it during my night shifts for various reasons, some of them because I didn't work the night shift.

Social- I am back together with Nathan. There it's said, and to explain more would take a day and half. I am also a newly initiated member of Phi Sigma Rho and I'll become an active member of Alpha Phi Omega on Thursday night. I've made so many new friends (sisters/brothers) through these organizations. There are moments for both of them when it just hits me and I know I joined the right place. Phi Rho fulfills my nerdy, girly side while APO fulfills my need to serve others and have a wide variety of friendships. Along with these groups comes a lot of time committments though, and I'm definitely feeling it.

School- Academics weren't going so well at the beginning of the year because I was too stressed out on everything else going on in my world. Between family, strained friendships from last year, trying to get involved to take my mind off things, and figuring out what my job exactly was, I never found time to just sit and study. Now I'm pulling myself out of a hole and am looking at taking a GPA hit, pretty hard. My scholarship isn't in jeopardy (knock on wood) but my Honors College status is. Hopefully the worst that happens is a semester's probation til I get my grades back up.

Work- My boss expects us to have 70 hours a semester, and I'm leading the pack with about 45 right now. We only have a month left! I don't know how she is going to react but she already said we wouldn't be fired. I'm not sure if there were even 70 hours of work offered. It's stressful but I'm working at getting more hours in this week. Between last week and this week my hours should be up to 56. Oh, a couple weeks ago, my other housing intern and I made door decs for every girl in our dorm. Ok actually one for every room but it was still a LOT of turkeys! One last thing; programming, programming, programming.

Family- I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving next week. I wish I could say that I'll be relaxing and playing with the kids. Unfortunately, I have too much studying to do, and the kids won't be there for very long. Just to be home for almost a week will be amazing though. It may be a tempting taste of Christmas Break that will leave me wanting more time though.

Friends- While, as stated before, I'm making new friends in other organizations, I don't ever get to see my friends from last year. It takes a miracle to be able to see more than one of them at a time. It's usually my busy schedule, but it comes off as if I'm hanging out with my new friends over the ones who have been there for me. It's just that when I'm with the organizations, it's usually a required event.

So much to do, so little time!