So at the beginning of this week, I was really stressed out. I mean tears all over the place, on the edge of hyperventilation, nervous wreck type of stressed out. Why? Because of a Calculus test.
So to back track, on Sunday my friends got up to go to church. I got up bright and early with them, but I immediately started in on my Calculus book. I did problem after problem with 5 min study breaks every now and then to get on the internet and heat up some soup for lunch. It wasn't until 5:30 that night that I realized that I hadn't been off my floor all day and 95% of my time was in my room with my door shut. I had just been doing problems til I got them right with no trouble at all. So after I finally left my room to eat dinner downstairs, I decided I was prepared enough and took the rest of the night off. Between my first class and Cal, I took another hour to cram.
I went into the test feeling really prepared, came out feeling defeated and I thought I had failed. I went back to my dorm and just cried. I was already struggling in the class and I knew that a failed test could bring my grade down, and my scholarship would be in jeopardy. I felt like there was nothing that I could do, and it just felt like everything was crashing down.
I finally got my test back on Wednesday, and what did I get? An A. After all that worry and stress I made not just an ok, but an awesome grade considering the difficulty of the course. Needless to say, I was relieved.
Through all this, the curious thing that got me was that my ex-boyfriend, who is now just a really good friend, was there for me. He kept checking in on me to see if I'd heard anything about the test and constantly telling me that I was smart and it would be ok. It was weird because even though we're friends and were really close in the past, I just wasn't expecting that. He wasn't like that towards that at the end of our relationship, which is one of the reasons that it ended.
He has apologized multiple times and while I forgave him, I just never really believed him. Then he told me about the conversation he had with his mom, and how that made him realize that he needed to grow up and that he wasn't in high school anymore. That made me respect him a lot more. The way he's acted the past week is more like someone I would want to hang out with and get to know. I'm not at all implying that I'm interested in dating him again, just saying I'm interested in knowing if this is a true change of character.
I just wanted to jot down these thoughts now so I can see in a month or so whether or not they're the same.
But after all that this week, I am so ready for the weekend!! Hog basketball tonight, football tomorrow, and a lazy Sunday filled with a little homework. Much needed relaxing!